Wiz - A WarCraft Satire Magazine

By Ben 'Magic' Brown

IN RETROSPECT ...

What was Wiz? Don't worry if you never heard of it, it was never released. Not that 'it' was much to begin with anyway.

Wiz was intended to be a silly satirical 'magazine', based on two of my favourite things at one particular time - the game World of WarCraft (and the series in general) and adult comic, Viz (Website). Viz is a UK-based (In Newcastle, incidentally, my home city) comic that satirises old style children's comic strips such as the Beano and Dandy as well as tabloid newspapers. I almost called this production 'Giz', for it to be both gaming oriented ('G' for games) and to sound like some slang for something naughty at the same time.

It didn't come to be, though, for several reasons - mostly because I didn't create as much as I wanted and I also couldn't rely on consistently creating articles. Coming up with funny ideas by myself is either rarely done or very spontaneously, I'm not particularly like a comedian who can just divine some from every day things. I posted some of Wiz on the Samods forum once but didn't receive any positive feedback so I presumed it was a limited form of humour, or just one I found funny (which wouldn't be the first time).

I do find it funny though - the whole point of 'Letterbocks' in Viz is to take the piss out of ill-informed and plain idiotic morons who write ridiculous complaints to national newspapers. There's also "Top Tips" in Viz that I believe are based on further idiots who send in absolutely dire 'tips' to newspapers, ones that are completely useless. I followed suit with 'WarLetters' and 'Super Tips' in Wiz respectively, I find them hilarious - if you check out any of Wiz then check them.

Oh, I could have had 'Wiz' with a mascot who was some silly drunk wizard. Too late!

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CONTENTS

Wiz is the magazine that ... (Below)
Does the following!

Breaking News (Below)
Tragedy in Orgrimmar!

Special Report: Non-WOW Playing Addiction
An IT worker in Newcastle, UK, has been diagnosed with a form of non-computer gaming addiction...

Super Tips
IDIOTIC CASTERS: Wasting all of your mana as soon as possible can only ever result in battles being resolved as quickly.

WarLetters
MYRA TYRNGAARDE: If you are reading this: no, we do not want any of your ****ing bread.

Worst of the Worst Jokes
Why do undead creature have the clearest throats? ... Because they always remember to gargoyle.

Sex with Onyxia
EXCLUSIVE HOT PICS OF ONYXIA ACTION! PHWOAR, CHECK HER OUT LADS - IF YOU CAN HANDLE THE FIRE!

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Wiz is the magazine that ...

- Dances on the mailbox. As a Tauren.

- Loots Majordomo's Chest Whilst the PUG Raid is checking to see if everyone has /roll'ed.

- Joins an UBRS raid as a Mage and lasts until Rend before people realise that they're only level 10.

- Unashamedly advertises Foror's Compendium of Dragon Slaying in the Trade channel for 2000G.

- Always checks to see if Gamon is alive in Orgrimmar and if so kills him.

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BREAKING NEWS

- Suicidial Troll jumps from Sky Tower

ORGRIMMAR - While often the sight of flyers such as zeppelins and wyvern riders, today the Horde city saw a different type of airborn creature. A depressed Troll Mage today threatened to jump from the Sky Tower, citing his reason as a lack of parties going to certain dungeons in order for him to get a full set of Magister's Regalia armour.

Despite alleged attempts to calm him, the troll jumped and fell downward, hitting the ground and losing 1522 health but survived the ordeal.

"I see this happen too often." said flight master Doras. "Sometimes they jump without a reason as if they're in a hurry or something. Some of the new adventurer's are so low-level that they don't make the fall and have to spend a minute ghost-running back."

The troll has since joined a guild and is busy raiding for his next armour tier. Grom Hellscream was unavailable for comment.

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